Day 1: The Most Difficult Step

 The hardest step to take is starting. 

When I rolled out and stepped onto my mat today to begin, something in me shivered. I knew that by stepping on this mat today something would be different. Something HAD to be different or I would never begin again. By this I mean that, somewhere deep inside of me, I knew that had I not chosen to begin again today that I would never do so. That I wouldn't try to get on mat or take up this practice ever again, if I didn't today. Weird and a little melodramatic? Yes I know, but its the truth. As I stepped on and put feet together, my awareness was heightened. As I was looking at my feet, connecting my big toes and spreading all of my toes across the mat, everything was in slow motion and I could feel the nerves connecting through the skin. 

I took a long, deep breath to take it all in and take stock of what I was about to undertake. 

"Here you go Nic, yet another time trying to develop a dedicated practice. Another time trying to change. Another time trying to be better. Another time trying to grow spiritually....yes, another time...let's do this!"

And I was off. I didn't purposely think to lessen the breaths in between my Surya's or make sure my drishti was EXACTLY where it needed to be or that my lower stomach was sucked all the way in or my "mulabandha" constantly engaged. I just focused on breathing through one pose at a time, moving my foot back from Virabhadrasana I to Chaturanga and lifting into Urdhva Mukha Svanasana. One Breath At A Time. One Pose At A Time. One Movement At A Time. These were my mantras today that allowed my practice to consist of 5 Surya Namaskar A's, 5 Surya Namaskar B's, Standing Postures up to Utkatasana, 3 Urdhva Dhanurasanas, Closing Asanas and Finishing Asanas. 

I was and am still proud of myself for stepping on and completing the asanas that I did. While I will try to improve and go further each day and with each practice. It is not my goal, my focus. My focus is just to get on my mat. And I was able to keep that focus, meet that goal and go further than intended or expected. I'm so happy and excited about this challenge and this journey into Ashtanga, into my life and transformation. Little wins have to be celebrated to be victorious in this thing called life (and especially this thing called Ashtanga ;-)

What small or big wins did you celebrate today?